My Top Excuses

(“My Top Three Excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)

Sal: Thanks for the invite but no can do. Dingos ate my baby.

Mikey: Glad you invited me but a tiny, internal, Siamese sister has been discovered attached to my duodenum. I’ll be having it (or “her,” I guess) removed even as you frolic.

Fred: Rumor has it that you keep a giant croc in your swimming pool. I’ll avoid your party, as I have a morbid fear of reptiles (excepting my husband, of course ha ha).