My Most Humble Thanks

I have spent fifty years building and managing some of the finest hotels in the world. My top priority has never been to profit, only to provide the best possible guest experience to my patrons.

When I decided to move on to other career opportunities, I found it difficult to deal with the sadness associated with the severance of ties with the friends that I’ve made. Therefore, imagine my surprise when so many of you, my valued customers have chosen to follow me!

For-profit prisons occupy a prominent space in the economic high-growth sector. Their challenges are manifold, something to occupy me in my twilight years. Let us pray that my experience and continued energy provide me with the tools I’ll need to meet these challenges.

My most special thanks and kind wishes are reserved for those of you who have committed heinous and unforgivable crimes, which you have not even especially wanted to commit, only for the purpose of drawing multiple life sentences to be with me! We shall meet again! Gruel and bread crusts for everyone!

Running Eagles Fans Slam Into Subway Poles

In the video that went viral today, a fan, after an Eagles victory over the Vikings, was running along side a train and crashed into a metal pole on the platform. He’s ok.

The other fans discussed in the attendant newspaper article, who had been drinking heavily, were not so innocently innocent as that fellow, who was wearing a number 20 jersey. Those other fans were not running along the platform. They were off the platform, down an unused side tube, there to party in their usual way following a win by their favorite NFL team. They were there to hunt down and persecute the homeless denizens who live beneath the City of Brotherly Love. Or is that San Francisco? No, that’s a whole different brotherly love right there.

The drunken and rapacious fans this time found the community of jerry-built structures affectionately named Polskie Miasto (Polish Town) in honor of the community’s mayor, the proudly homeless Kazimierz Godłowski.

You can see where I’m going with this so I won’t belabor it.

I abhor all violence.

When the police finally arrived, it was the innocent homeless who were arrested. The six ruffians who did the damage escaped scot-free, although three of them later fell on the tracks and were cut to bits by a passing train full of their brother and sister fans, at least.