fraternity suspended after mom complained that son was forced to chug

I heard him talking on the phone. He was forced to chug.

Chug, I’m asking myself. What’s chug? Do I want to know?

I’m not a nosy person. If my kid wants to chug, am I going to tell him not to? That’s why they go to college.

Unless chugging is dangerous. He could catch something from chugging? He could pull something, like in his arm or leg or God forbid his groin?

Or be reported to the school. I already paid this semester’s tuition.

Or be arrested? Is chugging a crime? Or God preserve us, a crime against nature?

So I looked it up.

“Move slowly with engine making regular muffled explosive sounds.”

What the… He’s driving the old Kia… Explosions…

That’s when I called the University to complain, tuition payment or no tuition payment.

Also, what’s a fraternity?

Would you rather…? (Education)

Would you rather have students with dull eyes in eager faces, or eager eyes in dull faces?

Keep in mind that eyes aren’t exactly windows to the soul, like you hear. Instead, recent research indicates that our notion that the visual pathway consists of a series of cells and synapses that carry visual information from the environment to the brain for processing, is too simple. Instead, incoming information meets outgoing information in some as-yet-to-be-explained way, and “seeing” represents the conflation of these data streams.

So on second thought, it sounds like the soul is coming out halfway to meet the real world. If so, dull eyes can’t be good. Who wants a bad soul in an eager body? Cancel my subscription to that magazine that comes in a plain brown wrapper marked “Sex information inside.”

But eager eyes… Can the soul want to bust out out of the brain and go roamin? Pushing along that dull old body in a crazy search for the blue pill? Or is that just me?

It’s a conundrum, and don’t forget, choices are rarely binary. Never mind “dull” and “eager.” What about listlessness? A lot of listless students out there. I can be listless and I’m the teacher. A lot of teachers will tell you they crave eager students, the more the better, but when you’re hungover on a Monday morning after a fruitless weekend seeking legal love, nothing can be more intimidating than those rosy-cheeked faces! Thank goodness for educational videos.

With regard to Ms. Clemons in the school library, I will take any kind of eager I can get.