Tax Q&A #157

Q: I hear guys joking around about a man marrying his tractor but I got to wondering whether there might be some tax considerations there. (J. Smith)

A: In this state, the laws are not unfavorable to just such a conjunction, but there are a tangle of rules.

What color is your tractor? If you are white, you cannot marry a black tractor. If you are black, you shouldn’t have a white tractor at all. The case of red and green tractors is being adjudicated.

How is your tractor used? For example, does it plow, till, disk, harrow, and plant? These are righteous uses. Taking the kids to school or catting around town are not.

Where was your tractor made? Tractors made in South Korea or Saudi Arabia are ok. Tractors made in Viet Nam or Iraq are iffy. Tractors made in Russia, China, or Iran may cause the Government to ask you whether you are patriotic or not. You don’t want them asking that.

Do you have more than one tractor? You can only claim one. DO NOT mention the others.

Where does your tractor stay at night? Out in the barn or in your bedroom is ok. It should be home at night and for damn sure it should not be living on another farm.

For comparison purposes: A tractor will save you twice as much as a cow, three times as much as a sheep, and four times as much as a goat.

Hope this helps!