snow

We were snowed in and snowed under with work but the boss’s reasons for no overtime were a real snow job, while he acted pure as the driven snow and left us snowed.

 

For One-Liner Wednesday

tutor

come on greg. grasp the concept.

[groaning]

grit your teeth. you want to graduate. this is within your grasp.

[grumbling]

i’ll graph it. grapple with it. get a grip on it.

{grousing]

you’re going great. grok it.

[gruff growling]

it’ll come to you gradually. they’re going to grill you on it.

[grim]

grin and bear it. it’ll grow on you.

[gagging]

grope your memory. grep in it. it’s all grist for the mill.

[grossed out]

times up for the day. grammar is tough.

 

For Daily Post

wonder

I wonder what I’ll write today?

When you (yes, you) write a wonderful post, I wonder at it. I read it in wonder. In wonderment.

It’s a wonderment, a wonderwork. Full of wonderfullness. Wonderfullnesses.

It’s wondrous. Wonder of the world. Wonderopolis. Wonderville.

Some wonderkinds can do it when young. During the wonder years.

But me? I so want to write wonderfully, but I despair. If a post of mine turns out well, well, it’s a wonder. I go well, well. Will wonders never cease? Like I’m in some wonderland.

Are most writers wonderers?

Most of my wondering comes as I wander. I have wanderlust but not wonderlust. As I ramble, I wonder at wonderbras and Wonder bread and Wonderheart the Care Bear.¬†ūü§Ē¬†And Wonder Woman.

Other days I don’t wonder about anything. The word wonder just looks strange on the page.

 

For The Daily Post.

uncompromising

if we’re going to live together, you’ve got to be flexible.

i am flexible, but you get an idea in your head and you’re unshakable. look, you’ve got to bend a little once in a while. bend but not break.

i bend every day. i’m determined to make this work. i’m not stubborn but nevertheless, i do have principles.

you’re obdurate. you’re headstrong. you’ve got to understand that different people are different. i’m not you.

you are not me. you’re pigheaded. you’re a bloody-minded man.

aha. so that it’s. you’re firm and uncompromising, but i’m intractable and immovable. you’re a woman, resolute but fair, unyielding but willing to meet me halfway. i’m the typical guy, intransigent, obstinate, rigid.

that’s about it. you’ll make a deal with another guy. you’ll come to an understanding, you’ll make concessions. i know i’m single-minded. all i’m asking for is give and take.

ok. i take back what i said. let’s find a happy medium. i love you and respect you.

same here. i got a little carried away. compromise is good.

let’s go out and do it over dinner.

a cocktail and dinner.

or a beer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For The Daily Post

branch

honey, i’ve been promoted.

wonderful! to what?

branch manager.

wow. the company’s branching out? opening a branch office? where?

some little town in the middle of montana.

huh. how many in the office?

just me at first.

that’s a branch? sounds more like a twig. or a bud.

they told me branches start out small like that, and branch managers too. for example, branch rickey signed with the st. louis browns in 1905 and look, he went on to introduce jackie robinson to major league baseball. the branch davidians started out small and…

whoa right there. aren’t those the guys that were at waco?

well, yeah. but that was later and they had a compound there, not an office.

i need a drink.

bourbon and branch water?

 

for The Daily Post

unlikely partners

it’s time to draw up the papers.

ok. we’re a partnership. do it like that.

all right. a partnership. you and me.

hang on. what about him? he’s a partner too.

he’s your partner but that’s different papers.

he’s your partner too.

yes, but that’s a third set of papers.

listen you two. as far as i’m concerned i’m your partner but not your partner.

ok, then. that’s just two sets of papers.

what about number four over there. we’re partners.

i agree.

not with me.

so that’s… fives sets of papers.

i am only drawing up one set of papers, period.

we don’t have to be a partnership.

can we be a fellowship?

can a girl be a fellow?

how about an association?

i won’t associate with you.

how about a collaboration?

not legal enough.

how about a union?

too much like a marriage.

enough already. we’ll all be partners with whomever we’re partners with. for the papers, let’s be a company.

i’ll be in a company with you but i’m not going to keep your company.

for¬†Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie

fabric

what is all this talk about the fabric of spacetime?

in the books and movies the fabric is always endangered. somebody is always tearing it. how can that be? hasn’t spacetime been around since God made the world or since the world evolved, if you’re a non-believer. Who thinks you can go around tearing it?

when I was a kid growing up in New York, the only time you heard about fabrics was when your sister talked to her friend about sewing or buying a new dress or if you knew a boy who was a tailor’s son or whose dad repaired car upholstery.

talk about fabrics on the street corner and everybody would think you were a… a… whatever. tho i did have a friend from Philadelphia who would call the rear part of a girl her fabric. he’d say, some nice fabric out on the street today.

i also knew a boy from London who called his underwear his fabrics which made everyone hoot.

my mom made my shirts but she didn’t ask me what kind of fabric i wanted in them.

also, come to think of it, the sign on my dad’s shop had the word fabricate in it.

 

For Daily Post