meander

my blood pressure was high. my mind was confused.

you’re stressed, said my doctor. reduce your stress.

you should leave the city, said my shrink. take a vacation. get away from your job. go back to your roots. meander in the countryside.

so i booked passage to southern turkey.

there I found the ancient maiandros (mαίανδρος) river, whence comes the word meander. by strolling along the banks of this winding river, i would by definition be meandering. the river’s modern name is büyük menderes, the turks having owned it these last five hundred and fifty years or so.

where to start, the river’s source (dinar, where are found the ruins of celaenae-apamea) or mouth (on the aegean near samos)? i couldn’t worry about this, as it would cause stress, which i was to avoid at any cost, so i flipped a coin (a turkish lira, 1989; atatürk’s head) and began my meander at dinar.

the river being 341 miles long, it took me some time to negotiate it at a slow pace (i never took more than ten steps without pausing to contemplate the water and my life).

by the time i was done, i felt a lot better.

 

For The Daily Post

Emotional Support Animals

The peacock on the plane was one. The gerbil that came to a sad end was another.

Is marriage “emotional support”? This fellow married his support.

My support comes from the pig, the cow, the lamb, the chicken, and at Thanksgiving and Christmas, the turkey.

Growing up in the hills, we relied upon the rabbit and the squirrel. And the egg.

My wife was born in a coastal village, Biei-cho (美瑛町). She prefers the squid, the octopus, and the fugu.

My cat is supported by the horse and the mockingbird.

My children protest this use of animals! They are supported by the weed.