haiku

the day mighty fine
air so mighty clear
high and mighty us

for Eugi’s Weekly Prompt

zzz

zzz … oops. fell asleep eating pizza with mozzarella in a palazzo by the piazza, below the outdoor mezzanine on the terazzo by the jacuzzi, listening to jazz, guzzling a big fizzy drink with a swizzle, like through a nozzle. head a little muzzy. a little fuzzy. miles davis, what a whizz. what a whizzbang! dazzles me! bedazzles me! jazzbo! huzzah! razzamatazz! so snazzy. no razzberries from this fan! but what a spazz i am. not scuzzy, just always in a tizzy, abuzz, jazzed, bumfuzzled, then fizzling out … like now. the drink did it, not my fault. i awake to be razzed by my puzzled spouse, circling like a buzzard above me, with her quizzical expression, frazzled by my behavior, her hair frizzy, she’s ready with a blizzard of grizzly scolds, or she’ll drizzle them, and her a chazzan and then a hazzan! treats me like a zyzzyan. can’t muzzle her or nuzzle her. zzz.

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

writephoto: charmer

Silicon Valley Charmer

 

Think you can’t afford a home in Silicon Valley?

Check out this beauty! So close by in the Santa Cruz mountains, just off Leprechaun Parkway. Steve Jobs wanted it but it wasn’t available while he was still alive.

Priced to move! Tired of those several-million-dollar-plus pricetags? Offer a single, solitary million and be prepared to haggle! Owner returning to the auld sod. Must sell.

Bedrooms/bath/kitchen/playroom/dining room/living room/rumpus room/library/studio all in one! Schools close by, two hours by bus.

All the amenities: running water (during the rainy season); firewood and kindling nearby (except post-forest fires); food (deer, squirrel, etc.). Loads of parking space – right up to the cliff.

Diverse neighborhood: Trolls, dwarfs, elves, mountain lions, burnt-out coders, the homeless.

The area isn’t gold country, but dig and ye shall find! Pots of it! (Just don’t keep it!)

 

For Sue Vincent’s Writer Prompt. WritePhoto.

raven

A raven adopted me at my cabin in the north woods. I named him Edgar. We had a casual relationship, based on food and togetherness.

Edgar roamed the woods at will. One day, he brought home a crow, whom I named Allan.

Allan generally gave me a wide berth, unlike Edgar, who would perch on my shoulder. Allan and I competed for Edgar’s affections. I sensed that Allan was gradually winning.

When the two birds built a nest together and Allan laid eggs in it, I changed her name to Ellen.

The hybrid babies took me for their godfather.

 

For Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge

imagination

I’ll leave this one to your imagination. I want to confess but I don’t want to admit.

My friends don’t care what I did, most of them, but my parents would care if they knew.

I probably won’t ever do it again but I don’t regret doing it once. Well, ok, this morning I’m feeling a little sorry. For myself but also for doing it.

It didn’t hurt, not too much. I wasn’t scared. Nervous. Anxious. Maybe a little scared.

It wasn’t fun, but I didn’t expect it to be. I just wanted to get it over with. Now it’s over with.

I’m not going to talk about it with anyone. I’m also not going to talk about what I really wanted to do, not what I did. My friends would probably care about that.

The sun is up. I’m still me. Time to go to school.

 

For Daily Post

Blue Serpent

It’s difficult to train a snake but it can be done. I’ve spent years at the task. My efforts eventually brought me to the final round of the Snake Olympics.

My prize competitor, my greatest training accomplishment, and if I may say so, my friend, Blue Serpent, versus the great Russian speedster, черный гигант (Chernyy Gigant, or Black Giant).

Of course, Blue was a massive underdog, or undersnake, to the multiple-race winner. How is a humble Coluber constrictor to beat a Dendroaspis polylepis, fastest snake on the planet?

Training is key. Your snake has to know what’s at stake. Your snake has to want it and want it bad.

The training involves accustoming your animal to the ways of race tracks and ensuring that he or she is sufficiently hungry. You must also know just which prey will be most attractive to your charge, which prey, waiting there at the finish line. Note: Training a snake that prefers other snakes for dinner is never a good idea, as they race side-by-side.

Blue has a taste for mice of a certain size and color.

To keep the competitor on a straight line, light electric shocks are employed during training.

Blue Serpent learned quickly. Off the track, he was adorable. Snuggly. On race days, hungry, he grew still, composing his mind.

Did I mention that Blue is a blue racer. Sure, mambas are supposedly the world’s fastest snake, but with money on the line (no mouse for Blue if he loses), not all ophidians have the heart to triumph, especially after competing in multiple heats to reach that final challenge.

Black Giant had the heart, the will to win, of course. Blue and Black knew each other well. Black 0wned Blue when Blue first came up. That was before I took over Blue’s training. Now Black was confident, proud, perhaps a little hubristic.

The start was clean. At the other end of the course, Blue’s mouse and Black’s yellow-spotted rock hyrax waited in fear. The black viper sprang out to a quick lead. Most snakes can use lateral undulation, rectilinear movement, concertina movement, and  sidewinding, sometimes two-at-a-time in different parts of the body. Competitors must learn which mode(s) of locomotion are most effective in their particular race.

Blue maintained contact through the first half of the race, then began to move up. At the crucial moment in the final stretch, Black’s trainer shouted from the pit the traditional “STOP! STOP!” at Blue. This is allowed, as the snakes must ignore crowd noise. I then shouted “стоп! стоп!” and because I had been practicing the commanding tone of Putin ordering his minions around, (a famous soundbite in Russia), Black hesitated for a fraction of a second, just enough time for Blue to grab the lead and, soon thereafter, the mouse.

The glow of the victory has endured, even now, after Blue has been put out to stud.

 

For Flash Fiction Challenge