Happy Wife, Happy Life

I found a happy woman and made her my wife. Then I learned that I was supposed to keep her happy. I hadn’t realized that.

I tried this and that. She says I didn’t. Finally, I made her happy by letting her go. She says she’s having a happy life but the saying hasn’t worked for me.

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Canary Islands

Photo by noelsch at Pixabay.com

The world’s largest telescope was built in the Canary Islands. King Juan Carlos I of Spain officially inaugurated the telescope July 24, 2009.

With the King and his guests in attendance, the first object photographed, due to an error in the declination setting, was this canary.

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new staff

notice: due to tight budget we are forced to reduce park staff and rely on volunteers for cleanup and security. please be patient as they settle in, and observe the following rules: do not feed staff. staff accepts cash only. do not fraternize with staff. thank you.

Photo prompt by Kat Myriam
Photo credit: David Cardinez on Pixabay
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Photo by MarkusmitK@pixabay.com

so long. trainyard. so long my friends, you diesel engines. loud and strong. as of tomorrow i’ll work only on electric locomotives. not diesel electrics, either. pure electric, clean and quiet. i love you but this railyard should become a boneyard.

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my inheritance

Photo by Tama66 at Pixabay.com

my eccentric rich uncle passed away and left me a huge trunk. i knew that he had collected numerous treasures. i opened the trunk with trembling hands. slow work with all the locks.

inside, i found nested trunks all the way down to a pillbox that held four aspirins. child dose.

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Photo by Nadiya Ploschenko at Unsplash.com

john’s life turned around and he became a success when he learned that blackout curtains, like those used in motels, work much better than venetian blinds for those who sleep during the day and work at night. no longer was he drowsy and sluggish on the job. and then he met mary.

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First Contact

Here’s a photo of the first alien to contact earth – presenting himself as a dude with long blond hair and noticeable hips. A Viking effect.

We see him standing in front of the US DOD Intergalactic Message Board, which has been designed to facilitate communication between the Free World’s military and whichever extraterrestrials, using binary code. We are told that after studying the board for some minutes, the alien, named by the press “Eric the Blond,” requested that in addition to all the 0s and 1s, we begin using some 2s.

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Park Ride

“A sleeping dragon? What kind of a Park ride is a sleeping dragon?”
“Awake it was too scary for the kids.”
“But what does it do?”
“Smoke comes out of its nose.”
“That’s it?”
“It makes snoring sounds.”
“Anything else?”
“It farts.”
“Well that’s all right then.”

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head shot


take a good look, buddy. frogs are going extinct, in case you haven’t heard. why? nobody knows for sure but maybe it’s because there aren’t enough princesses around anymore. all due respect to meghan markle but her attire choices on Suits had me scratching my head the whole time.


Photo by Couleur at Pixabay.com
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please stay on the trail


as kids we took quicksand seriously. we lived on the edge of a swamp and in the movies bad guys were always being swallowed up. course we didn’t have many paths to stay on. turned out, though, it was a burnt-out hollow in a sawmill sawdust hill that claimed one of us.


268 characters
Photo by Photo by Dan Gold at Unsplash.com
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