John was about to leap off the Brooklyn Bridge, where over 500 deaths have occured from jumping, with the suicide barriers, CCTV, the plaques that advertise the telephone number of The Samaritans, and intervening drivers, who stop and try to talk the jumpers out of it, only partially successful in preventing them.
Sue didn’t stop to talk John out of it but instead just pulled over to mention that she was planning to jump off the Statue of Liberty.
He loved Elsie, who loved Lance, dominant stallion of the herd.
Fred’s life consisted of an unending series of fruitless attempts to nose in between Elsie and Lance, which left him single and alone with his daydreams, in which he pictured Elsie in silhouette or perhaps even, yes, head-on!
The parishioners’ complaints grew more urgent. Father O’Malley finally gave in. “To keep the peace,” he announced during his homily, “we’ll use this week’s collection to spruce up the place a wee bit.”