the future is now

“coffee, tea, or me?”
“wha…?”
“i’m sorry. i mean, are you here to buy some coffee or tea, or for a taro reading in the back?”
“well, for coffee…”
“buy five pounds and the taro reading is free.”
“huh. ok, i’ll take five pounds.”
“you can choose the type later. let’s go back for the reading … there, sit … i’ll lay out the cards. hmm. i’m learning about important dates in history. wanna be one of them?”
“what?”
“i said … the cards show that there is romance in your future … are you a time traveler? cause I see you in my future.”
“those cards … what are those pictures on them … they’re…”
“listen, honey … pay attention… my love for you is like diarrhea, i just can’t hold it in.”
“wait. i’m going to get sick?”
“for the love of … did you invent the airplane? because you seem wright for me.”
“wow. i have no idea what any of this means, but it sounds important.”
“it means you’re going to meet someone and have a … a romantic encounter.”
“what will she look like?”
“red hair.”
“like yours? how tall?”
“my height.”
“weight?”
“my weight.”
“what sign?”
“what sign do you want?”
“hopefully, pisces.”
“she’s a pisces.”
“wow. let me go pick out my coffee and get home in case she comes by.”

for Stream of Conciousness Saturday

claws and nails

bloody teeth and claws
everybody needs to eat
i get my nails done

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

fans

“ok, ladies, fan out.”
“i’m not a fan of this.”
“you’ve got a case of the fantods. it’ll be fantastic.”
“i don’t fancy our chances. aren’t we just fanning the flames?”
“you signed up. don’t be a fair-weather fan.”
“i’m worried it’s all going to hit the fan.”
“quit fanning the breeze and get to it, fancy pants. show them some fancy footwork.”
“fancy-schmancy. doing fandangos and fan-dances in front of all these lonely guys could cause a riot. I don’t fancy our chances.”
“that’s a fantasy. these aren’t fanatics, they’re fanboys.”
“they may start fantasizing.”
“if they touch your fanny, show them your fangs.”

for Stream of Consicousness Saturday

current status

in deep cover.
not knee-deep,
in too deep.
took a deep dive
off the deep end.
now they’ll deep-six me
in the deep blue sea,
deep in the weeds – the seaweeds.

i’m not a deep thinker but
still waters run deep and
digging deep,
deep down,
i expected this.

my beauty is not just skin deep.
i have a deep knowledge of my job,
bone-deep.
my loyalty runs deep.
but my past, once a deep, dark secret,
is now known to all, not just on deep background,
the facts discovered courtesy of my employer’s
deep pockets.

let me take a deep breath.
spare me your deepest sympathy.
my obit will be shallow.

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Beside You

sitting beside you i am beside myself
a black mark beside my name
which pales beside my past deeds
and is beside the point anyway
what with you beside yourself too
when i sidled up to you
…. and besides
i’m on your side
we’re on the same side
and i’ll meet you on the other side

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

haiku

biosphere evolves
without judgment but we have
worn out our welcome

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

oh!

oh! she said.
oho! he said.
ooh! she said.
…ohs…ohing…
uh oh! he said.
oh no! she said.
doh! he said.
pooh! she said.
oh well, he said.

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

growing up

my parents kept their ear to the ground
they got in on the ground floor of every child-raising fad
we were child-rearing ground zero
mom and dad changing the ground rules in our home
making me grind my teeth and go to ground
or get grounded, like an airplane
i could never hold my ground; they would grind me down
i had an ax to grind

now, moved out, free at last, i can break new ground
grind away, enjoy a groundswell of new experience
and ground myself
versus the daily grind
by drinking coffee (the daily grind) (previously forbidden)
and do a bump and grind of glee

for Stream of Conciousness Saturday

tast

consider the tast
taste it
tastic rice
so tasty
chocolate Tastetations
fantastic
but may cause entastic spasms and metastasis
catastrophe
possible atasthalia in choosing your diet
get to doctor stat (tast anagram)

or am i just being a phantast

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday

haiku

ten birds in a net
meant to catch falling apples
i forget to check

for Stream of Consciousness Saturday