Man thinks men think he is a turtle

Sir, come out of the box, the officer says.

He’s got himself taped to the box in there, the other officer says.

Go in and cut him free, Mark.


With a knife? With scissors? Use your head.

I’ve got my 96A1. No blades.

You’re the only officer on the force with a Beretta. You’re a God-damn showoff, Mark… Sir, is this box your house?

Not my house. My outhouse.

You got some air-freshener on your belt, Mark?

No blades, no fresheners.

Go back to the 12 and get that little tree hanging from the rear view… Sir, are you homeless?

Only when the tape fails.