The Lamb of God

I have commented previously on God’s wife (here, here, and here), children (here), and dog (here and here).

I now refer you to John 1:29.

I’m just messing with you. The subject here is not Jesus, but the best spice to use when you want to enjoy a great big saddle of greasy lamb.

Consider these:

Cumin – Brash and stinky, like the lambs. (Jesus was not happy with the LOG nickname. He saw immediately where they were going with that.)

Rosemary – The name of Jesus’ first lamb. (Although a carpenter, Jesus spent a lot of time in lamb-rich environments. Despite being designated the LOG, he, like most of us, ate lamb.)

Vadouvan – French curry powder. As a boy, Jesus had the chore of currying the lambs. (Jesus started out resolving to eat nothing that cast a shadow [shoutout to “Transamerica” (2005)], but ended up eating meat even before the Archfiend had a chance to tempt him to do so.]

Harissa – North African chile paste. But also the name of my first girlfriend. What’s the opposite of lamb? Cause that was her. (Jesus never slaughtered a lamb. This is discussed at length in the Book of Julia in the Apocrypha. The lamb talked him out of it. Like Doctor Dolittle and Tarzan, Jesus could speak to the animals and the animals would do what he said, within reason.)

Sumac – Used before the lemon was discovered. Fruity, sour, and colorful. Popular with people of the book [أهل الكتاب‎ ]. (What did they eat at the last supper? Not lamb, that’s for damn sure.)