Letters That Cross In The Mail

My eight entries in a “Letters that cross in the mail” contest, plus a couple more.

Do you really mean this?

(“My Top Three Excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)

1. Dave:¬†I’ve received your invitation. It seems sarcastic. Do you really mean to invite me?

2. Dave: Thanks for your explanation. Your invitation is not sarcastic. However, your explanation seems snide. I can’t abide snide.

3. Dave: Thanks for your explanation of your explanation. Your invitation is not sarcastic and your explanation is not snide. But your explanation of your explanation seems patronizing. I cannot attend an event presented by an individual who patronizes me. Sorry.

My dog ate the invitation.

(“My top three excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)

1. Howie, my dog ate the invitation you sent, and died. Funeral is the same day as your party. Sorry.

2. Howie, thanks for the second invitation. The cat ate it and died. Funeral is the same day as the dog’s. Sorry.

3. Howie, thanks for the third invitation. My mom ate it.