Man Adopts his 42-Year-Old Girlfriend

Headline, Huffington Post]

The guy’s name is Marvin. Once Sue was all adopted, he took her home to meet his former mom and dad, now his adopted son and daughter.

“Fred and Betty,” he said to them, “meet your new sister Sue.”

“Keep it down,” his daughter said. “Your son is taking his nap.”  

The elderly woman was trying to assemble a lego jeep.

“I’m sure glad to be here,” said Sue. “Say, Betty, can I help?”

“You can go make dinner,” said Betty. “After you put in a load of wash.”

Sue frowned.

“I meant, can I play with you,” she said. “I’m not your slave.”

“Now, kids,” chuckled Marvin. “Don’t start scrapping. Remember, I love you all equally.’

“We’ll see about that tonight,” said Sue.

“Whoa, there, Pilgrim,” said Betty. “This is a Christian home.”

“Remember that when you hear me shouting Oh God! tonight,” Sue said.

 “Marvin!” Betty said.

Spot, Marvin’s other son, came in through the doggy door.

“Woof.”

“Oh, goody,” said Sue. “I always wanted a brother, and not some old geezer asleep at two in the afternoon. Spot, sit boy! Roll over!”

Marvin took Sue aside.

“Baby,” he said. “I’m afraid that tonight’s off.”

“What? Just because you’re my daddy?”

“No. I adopted myself today, too. I’m your big brother now. I’ve got to look out for you, and that includes not letting your daddy take advantage of you.”