My parents wanted me married, out of the house. My father was a no-account with a rum blossom on his nose; my mother constantly urged me to go into town and gather orange blossoms (look for a wife, if you’re not from around here).
I went into town, and found a young woman just ready to bloom, to come into blossom. She was a vivacious young creature, rejecting the beaux buzzing about her, her cap set for a young man ready to blossom into something himself. As it happens, her name was Blossom.
the dust has settled earth sets out on a new path we are not included
the earth, inventing new life in its random way while whiling away the days, years, eras, and eons, continents drifting, occasionally starts over from scratch, following, say, the arrival of that meteor the size of a city, or a plant/animal imbalance leading to an excess of oxygen or carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. following, that is, a major extinction event.
fred realized that such a new start was in the offing. a sort of impending adventure. who could guess, who could predict, what new life forms would emerge? that’s the thing about events termed “emergent”: they’re unpredictable.
however, fred did understand that there was an element of the adventure that was perfectly predictable. neither he nor anyone else was going to be around to see it.
““She launched herself at their leader.” – Lorraine Heath’s When A Duke Loves A Woman
Tradition dictated that Albreda cook a goose for Christmas dinner. Accordingly, she set out to find an acceptable candidate amongst the geese of the manor. One goose in the manor gaggle, in particular, bore alpha status. Hence, Albreda approached the geese and launched herself at their leader.
The battle is celebrated to this day. A toast is hoisted every Christmas. Such were their stout spirits, a mutual respect bloomed and the two returned to the manor courtyard, where the goose assumed her new position as primary watchgoose.
As a vegetarian alternative to goose, Albreda went with a butternut squash vegducken.
n.b. there is no duck in vegducken, just butternut squash, eggplant, and zucchini.
John was about to leap off the Brooklyn Bridge, where over 500 deaths have occured from jumping, with the suicide barriers, CCTV, the plaques that advertise the telephone number of The Samaritans, and intervening drivers, who stop and try to talk the jumpers out of it, only partially successful in preventing them.
Sue didn’t stop to talk John out of it but instead just pulled over to mention that she was planning to jump off the Statue of Liberty.
“what are you so worried about?” “i used my third and final wish to make the genie go back in the bottle but he won’t do it.” “The genie is not getting back in the bottle?” “he says he will, but he says i didn’t say when he has to do it, so he won’t do it now.” “why is that a problem?” “dude, i’ve unleashed him on the world. this is basically an evil genie we’re talking about. think of the mischief he could get up to.” “like what?” “i don’t know. global warming? pandemics? wars breaking out here and there? homeless people? lots of poor people?” “dude, we’ve got all that already.” “dude, you’re right! what’s my problem?”
