HR

“Don’t get up, gentlemen,” I say.

Shouldn’t have said that. Nobody was going to get up. Bad start.

“We’ve called you here because we have an employee who should probably be let go,” says Brad, the head of Engineering.

“Sorry. That’s not really my call,” I say.

Shouldn’t have said that.

“Of course it’s not your call,” Brad says, doing that thing with a pen where it wends its way through your fingers. “Just because you’re in HR, don’t start getting high and mighty. You’re a counselor. We want you to counsel this employee. You’re her last chance.”

I lift my head back up. Got to stop letting it hang when I’m corrected.

“Sorry. What’s her problem?” I say.

Shouldn’t have said that.

“She doesn’t have a problem,” Brad says. “Just ask her. She’ll tell you, no problem. We’re the ones with the problem. Her.”

“Sorry,” I say. “What does she do that constitutes your problem?”

“Stop saying you’re sorry. You’re a counselor… Evelyn tells us that she’s decided to live her life in better balance. On the computer, she’ll only do her work with her right hand. She’s right-handed but she uses her left to do only what she refers to as personal work.”

“Sorry about saying sorry. I’ll do better… I presume when I interview her, I should look her in the right eye and speak toward her right ear.”

Brad looks at me like a lot of people look at me. I detect my head beginning to hang and bring it back up.

“Sorry,” I say.

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