Musk’s Tesla to stay in space for millions of years

That’s what you think. I’m going up to get it. I’ve always wanted one of those things.

Have you seen The Astronaut Farmer (2006)? Billy Bob Thornton? Based on the true story of a farmer who built a dad-gummed rocket in his barn and then (spoiler alert) flew it up into space.

Well get this. I’m a farmer, I live nearish to Houston where all the space stuff is, and I own the Astronaut Farmer dvd. Done deal.

Maybe Musk will want his car back, you say. Tough ti… tough patootie. You can’t park a car in space for a million years and expect it to just sit there. Your insurance isn’t going to pay off if it’s stolen. It’s reckless driving or something. The insurance companies will always get you on some technicality or other. When I bring the car back, I’m not even going to insure it. I’ll just drive it around on the farm.

This rumor about there being a body in the trunk, one of Musk’s enemies? I doubt it’s true but if it is and I find it, I’m going to leave it up there. Not bringing it back. It’s dead weight.

I assume that Musk left the keys in the car.

I was also reading that there is a ton of “space junk” up there, but get this. It’s not junk. It’s all kinds of equipment and satellites and stuff that they can’t or won’t go up and retrieve, so they call it junk to avoid embarrassment. I might snag a thing or two in addition to the car.

I saw a picture of an astronaut sitting in the car, waving. If I find anybody in it when I get there, I’ll just politely tell them to get out. Everybody at church tells me I’m a real diplomat but I will not compromise where the car is concerned.

Depth

My boyfriend told me he was breaking up with me. He told me that I lacked depth.

What about you? I said. You stock shelves at Safeway. What kind of depth is that?

It’s not about me, he said. I don’t care if I’ve got depth or not. You don’t care if I do either. But I care if you have depth, babe, and you don’t.

What if I really do? I asked him. How can I prove it if I do?

I don’t know, he said. I think I would just know it somehow, but when you talk you don’t know so much.

I smiled a little.  I’m a wily girl.

What? he said.

I shook my head, just gave it a little… shake, you know. I looked off over his shoulder. His shoulders are one of my favorite things about him.

He started to say something, shrugged, shuffled his feet.

I guess I’ll get back to the store, he said. I’m shelving canned peas and beans this afternoon.

I nodded.

What are you going to do? he asked.

I’ll be down at the library, I said. I often go there afternoons.

The library? he said. What the heck do you do in the library?

Read things. Study. Mostly gee… geogro… geography.

Gee…what? he said.

Oceans and lakes, I said. Do you know how deep the ocean is?

Which one?

Any of them, I said. I know how deep they all are.

Wait. I… I’ve got to get back to the store, but look, what I said?… Maybe we need to get to know each other a little better, honey. Why don’t I take you out to dinner tonight? After you get through at the library.

 

Posted for Pic and a Word

Busking: Costumes

Q: Is it kosher to busk in costume?
A: Yes, as long as you aren’t dressed as a pig.

Q: What if the costume has nothing to do with the busking?
A: Buskers are individuals. You are an individual. Therefore, you are a busker.

Q: I’m multitasking – busking and cleaning car windows in the intersection. Can I mix costumes?
A: Sure. Many busker/window cleaners like to stick a .45 in their waistband to increase tips.

Q: I busk with a young woman. She says my Woody Allen costume is creepy. I tell her it’s a homage.
A: A homage to what?

Q: I busk with a tuba. Can I costume it as a guitar?
A: As long as you blow into it and never pluck it.

Q: I busk in a group. The others dress as .Beatles. I prefer Minnie Pearl. Is that ok?
A: The Beatles were heavily influenced by Minnie Pearl.

Q: Is it ok to busk as a superhero?
A: I had a great answer for this one, but I can’t remember it.

Q: My dog busks in a suit. Is this animal abuse?
A: Bespoke is fine. Off-the-rack is a no-no.

Q: I am a gypsy. Is my native garb a costume?
A: Thanks for the photo. I didn’t realize there were gypsies in نجمينا‎. I’d take off a couple of layers. You look hot.

 

For Daily Prompt.