Many thanks to The Huffington Post for the publicity. Praise Jesus.
If you find yourself passing through Backtoe, Georgia, do stop by our Jesus Museum. Bring this article with you for 10% off your ticket price. Glory to God.
When you enter the museum, you will find the mongrel Bubba chained to a post next to the front door. If he’s sleeping, press the button on the wall next to him to activate the air horn. At the blat, Bubba will jump up and run in circles around the post, yapping in fear. We’ve docked his tail so you can get a great view of our Savior every time Bubba runs past. Hallelujah.
Other museum highlights:
– A devil’s root in the shape of the male member.
– A set of Farmer’s Chew Jesus collectible cards (missing #18, Spear in the Side, and #24, Vinegar Sponge to the Mouth).
– A small piece of the True Cross (Georgia white pine).
– Your future, as forecast by the suspected witch Mabelly Roosevelt Lincoln ($5.00)
Our most precious item is located at the back of the museum just before you exit. Stop to meditate upon the embalmed remains of my Aunt Flora. She was a mannish woman and I always thought she looked like Jesus.
Ya’ll come back, hear?