Twin Dating

“I’m going to tell Debbie what your intentions are.”

“Go ahead and tell her. She knows already.”

“Why do you have to date her in the first place? You know how I feel about her.”

“I like Debbie. She doesn’t object to dating both of us. She thinks dating twins is kind of interesting. I plan to date her all summer and then go off to school. I told her this. She’s OK with us just having fun.”

“I know what you mean by fun. She doesn’t need that kind of fun. She has feelings.”

“Hey, I have feelings. I already told you I like her. All we did was go to the Saturday-night dance.”

“And park afterward.”

“And we went to the movies.”

“And sat in the back row of the balcony.”

“I know you say you’re in love with her, but that romantic feeling you have? It’s your feeling, not hers. It’s all in your head. I don’t know what it means to be in love, but I wouldn’t trust it if I were you.”

“I’m not saying that Debbie is in love with me, at least not yet. I’m realistic. I just don’t want her to get hurt this summer. We’re going to learn watercolors together. We’re going to play guitar and flute duets. We’re going to go for long walks up in the hills and talk about the things that are important to us. I hate to see her wasting her time with you.”

“You hate to see her smooching with me, is what you mean. Too late. It’s her chance to learn something she’ll never learn from you. Something about friendly relationships. Something about boys. Maybe she’ll grow up a little.”

“She doesn’t need to grow up that way.”

“Sure she does. Do you want to marry a girl that’s never been kissed? That’s not fair to either of you. Debbie is still in high school. Paint with her. Play music with her. Talk about Life with her while you walk. It’s all good. It’s just not all.”

“I don’t think the physical thing is a good idea until a couple has an emotional connection.”

“That’s because you haven’t tried it. There is nothing wrong with kissing a stranger, believe me.”

“Then go kiss a stranger and stop kissing Debbie. You know, I don’t get it. You were never interested in Debbie before, but as soon as I told you I was falling in love with her, you refused to leave her alone. What are you trying to prove? You can’t be jealous of me. You’ve never acted like this before. What’s going on?”

“You’re making too much of it. We’re just having some summer fun before I leave.”

“Stop acting innocent.”

“I am innocent.”

“Is this about the fact that I’m not coming with you?”

“You should be. You should be going to college somewhere.”

“If I decide later that staying here and going to work with Dad was a mistake, I can still go to college.”

“Not with a wife and kids you can’t.”

“So you’re worried that I’m going to marry young and have a bunch of kids and be tied down here for life, while you’re out making your fortune in the big wide world?”

“You’re too young to get married. Debbie is way too young to get married.”

“So you’ll ruin her for me. Is that it?”

“I’m not going to ruin anyone. If I can’t convince you, maybe I can convince her that you should go with me.”

“Convince her that she doesn’t love me?”

“You don’t know anything about love. We’re too young. I don’t even want to talk about love. I’m not worried about love. I’m worried about you getting married to a high-school senior, having children, and regretting it. If Debbie is ready to marry, what’s she doing going out with me?”

“It’s only because you’re my twin. I think that mixes her up a little bit.”

“If she’s kissing me, she isn’t so mixed up she thinks it’s you. I’m dating her to try and help you, but why is she doing it?”

“She’s inexperienced. She doesn’t know any better.”

“Please. She’s doing it because she likes kissing. Answer me this: how can you love someone who doesn’t love you? Think about that.”

“A person can come to love you. They can learn to love you.”

“Listen to yourself. You’re just a kid. This is all wrong.”

“What can I promise, to make you stop seeing her?”

“Someone in love cannot be trusted. No promises. I’ll stop seeing Debbie in either of two cases: first, you agree to go to college with me in September. You can register the week before classes. Or second, you convince Debbie to stop going out with me. I doubt you’ll have any luck with the second, not by using watercolors and your guitar.”

“The more you see her, the more it hurts and the angrier I get.”

“That’s my dilemma. Do I look out for you by going out with Debbie, or do I respect your feelings and let you go your own way?”

“You know my answer to that.”

“You know what? I’m going to talk to Debbie myself. I’m going to explain to her exactly what’s going on, why I’m dating her. I’m going to tell her my worries about you and your future. I’m going to see what she thinks.”

“Please don’t do that. It’s not her problem. Don’t put that on her. You’re already using her against me. It’s almost like blackmail. If I don’t go with you, you’ll spend the summer making out with her, or worse.”

“I’ve got to do something.”

“Let’s sit down together with Dad and hash this out. The whole college-or-job question. We can also tell him how I feel about Debbie, but not about what you’ve been doing. I understand that you’re trying to do the right thing, but this isn’t it. Let’s ask Dad. He’ll help us.”

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6 Responses

  1. Pretty good story, but as usual truth outpaces fiction and imagination. I refer to the cases of “Siamese” (physically joined) twins who were married and had children and affairs. One web page that documents these a bit is http://www.neatorama.com/2008/05/29/seven-famous-sets-of-conjoined-twins/

  2. Boy am I getting old and forgetful. I was wondering what movie you refer to. Web search indicates a very old movie called FREAKS; a movie I did indeed see when I was much younger (much to my wife’s irritation) as she was viewing it with me. Thought perhaps it was something juicier that I don’t know about?

  3. Reading a little further, I discover there was a later movie called CHAINED FOR LIFE (which I have never seen) that may fit the “lurid” label more accurately. Is it on You Tube? Probably not.

  4. Well, the movie might be one called TWIN FALLS IDAHO. Do they even have sexual relations in Twin Falls, Idaho?

    • my relatives are all in idaho falls, boise, and mccall, where i can affirm there is sex. but i can’t speak for twin falls.

      the movie i had in mind… maybe i dreamed that…

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