Adam and Eve

Adam and Eve liveed a quiet life. The climate was mild. They didn’t eat meat. They played a little volleyball and worked on their tans. Life was good.

Adam sat on the porch and watched the world go by without impatience. He kept his agenda clear. He got up every morning without thinking about getting up. He never lay in bed longer than he wanted to or left it sooner than he wanted to.

Adam didn’t worry about the fact that Eve was a whole different animal. He liked her individualistic ways. It was sort of like owning a pet cat.

For Eve, living with Adam was sort of like owning a pet dog. As long as he went out in the morning and collected enough fruit and greens for the day, and made his bed, she let him be. She never complained that he didn’t pick up his socks or underclothes because he didn’t wear any.

Adam was affectionate in a mindless, panting, tongue-lolling sort of way. He obeyed simple commands. He was a handsome creature, although he did have one silly-looking add-on. Still, Eve might have liked a little more intelligence in him, as with a French poodle. Or maybe a little of that pitbull crazy. Anything to liven up the neighborhood.

Then one day a fellow came to the door and sold Eve access to the Internet. She discovered real-estate sites with neighborhoods that interested her. She discovered cooking sites and told Adam to bring home some meat. And of course there was porn. If Adam was a golden retriever, Eve saw a couple of black labs that she liked.

One thing led to another and the couple found themselves throwing wild parties. Soon, the landlord evicted them. Their new home, not so nice, filled up with kids, and Adam had to put on a suit and go to work every day.