Christmas Definitions 5

Shepherds – Like Brokeback Mountain, except that three wise men, three kings, and an angel go by, and there’s a wicked beautiful star in the sky.

Christmas Season – The first tree went off the lot here on November 18, but the first Santa wasn’t arrested for you-know-what until December 16th. My shopping started and finished Dec. 24th. Whew.

Gingerbread Man – He’s a cookie. He’s not animate. He can’t run. You eat him. I’m sorry.

Deck the Halls – (Has nothing to do with gambling or hallways.) These days, you might put up a little green and red crepe in the gym, along with some of those white paper wedding bells, pretending that they’re Christmas bells.

Oh Little Town of Bethlehem – That’s right. Rub it in. Where Jesus was born. Tiny even back in 0 A.D. when there were only about 100 people in the whole country.

Snow Globe – Globe with snow in it. Shake it and the snow drifts down on a little house or whatever. In the movies, the female star broods over it and sometimes it gets bounced off somebody’s head.

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One Response

  1. It’s 200 years since Charles Dickens was born. For quite a few people in modern times, his story, “A Christmas Carol,” has replaced the original Gospels as the way they learned the “meaning of Christmas.”.

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