Christmas Definitions 5

Shepherds – Like Brokeback Mountain, except that three wise men, three kings, and an angel go by, and there’s a wicked beautiful star in the sky.

Christmas Season – The first tree went off the lot here on November 18, but the first Santa wasn’t arrested for you-know-what until December 16th. My shopping started and finished Dec. 24th. Whew.

Gingerbread Man – He’s a cookie. He’s not animate. He can’t run. You eat him. I’m sorry.

Deck the Halls – (Has nothing to do with gambling or hallways.) These days, you might put up a little green and red crepe in the gym, along with some of those white paper wedding bells, pretending that they’re Christmas bells.

Oh Little Town of Bethlehem – That’s right. Rub it in. Where Jesus was born. Tiny even back in 0 A.D. when there were only about 100 people in the whole country.

Snow Globe – Globe with snow in it. Shake it and the snow drifts down on a little house or whatever. In the movies, the female star broods over it and sometimes it gets bounced off somebody’s head.

One Response

  1. It’s 200 years since Charles Dickens was born. For quite a few people in modern times, his story, “A Christmas Carol,” has replaced the original Gospels as the way they learned the “meaning of Christmas.”.

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