(“My Top Three Excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)
1. Dear Chin Tsi-ang. Thanks for your invitation. Since nobody but you and I would be speaking English at your party, and since your English is quite poor, I’d better not attend. You know that I like you, but I think that this is for the best.
2. Dear Chin Tsi-ang. It means I will not come. I will not be there. It will not eventuate. It will not transpire. I like you. We are friends. But I’m not coming over to your house and I’m not bringing a ” goodie smack” to your party.
3. Dear Chin Tsi-ang. No.