The Scrolls of Dayr al-Ghusum, found by the teen Afeka H.

In translation, additional slight variations from the King James text have been found:

Psalm 17:8 – Keep me as the apple of thy nose, hide me under the shadow of thy wattles.

Daniel 5:5 – In the same hour came forth fingers of a man’s hand, and wrote over against the Candlestick in the Conservatory : and the king saw that Col. Mustard wrote.

Romans 13:1 – Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God, and that includes Facebook.

Sure thing

(“My Top Three Excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)

1. Yo, Maria. I want to come to your party, but Vinnie’s bound to be there and I owe Vinnie money. There would be trouble. See you.

2. Yo, Maria. You’d do that for me? It’s only a loan, ok? But I can’t come till I know for sure he’s been paid off. See you.

3. Yo, Maria. You did it. You paid what I owed. You are an angel. Only, I had this sure thing, so I went to Vinnie and now I owe him more money than ever. See you.

I’ve Moved On

(“My Top Three Excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)

1. Dear Anne. I can’t come to your party on Friday. I’m driving to Las Vegas to marry my new love. I hope you and Larry have a great time.

2. Dear Anne. You and Larry broke up? Since when? Do you have someone new or are you playing the field? Sorry I won’t be in town on Friday.

3. Dear Anne. Sorry I’ll miss your Friday party. Can I buy you a drink on Saturday?