Allergy Season

(“My Top Three Excuses” contest. 150-word limit.)

1. Hi, Mary. Thanks for the invitation to your dinner party. Unfortunately, I’m allergic to many, many foods. Best I not trouble you with my dietary needs. So sorry!

2. Hi, Mary. Wow, your list of hypoallergenic entrees is amazing. I can’t say no to your invitation on the basis of my food allergies. However, I’m also allergic to many, many household items. Best I not trouble you with my environmental needs. So sorry!

3. Hi, Mary. Wow, your house must be a marvel of hypoallergenistity. I suppose that I can’t turn down your invitation on the basis of house dust and cat dander. However, I’m also allergic to you.

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