Lady Gaga Forgot Her Pants Again

(Huffington Post headline, 11/14/11)

Why does this rate a headline?

Dame Edith forgot her lorgnette for the opening at Epsom Downs. Now that was news.

I’ve forgotten my pants a time or two when going to work, but all that got me was a good spanking on the bare bottom by my boss, Mrs. Pregfort.

Colonel Smythe forgot a delivery of trousers to one of his battalions during the big war, but as he also sent them into a sector that he thought was safe but that was in fact the location of the Bosch high command, whence not one man returned alive, the fact that they had no clean pants to change into was rendered moot.

God Himself is said to have forgotten to take into account Man’s increased carbon emissions in this, the Late Industrial Age, so that the Supreme Being must now sit and watch helplessly as his children boil like lobsters in a pot, before He goes out and gets started on Earth 2.

The worst lapse occurred, according to scripture (refer to the Pseudepigrapha), when Satan was carrying out his revolt against Heaven. He planted a bomb under God’s throne, but in the confusion and tumult occasioned by the uprising’s inception, he and his lieutenants forgot to light the fuse.

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One Response

  1. Satan was hoisted by his own petard. This will eventually happen to the entire human race; perhaps next week; perhaps next century.

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