Doctors Shocked As Ultrasound Reveals Face In Testicular Tumour

Headline that appeared in the Huffington Post a week ago.

This is a family blog, but I think we can have a responsible discussion about the lowly testicle here.

I knew a young woman in graduate school who thought a cat’s testicles were his kidneys. Education is important, even on this page.

Therefore, my top five memorable sets of testicles:

5. Guiness record for most testicles in one scrotum: Dennis O’Toole (5).

4. Strangest-looking: Brian O’Murphy, whose scrotum, for some reason, is green.

3. Guiness record for lowest-hanging: Patrick Owen O’Connor (2 inches above the knee).

2. The “ghost” testicles: Queen O’Brian was told by a soothsayer that if anyone saw her son’s testicles, including her son himself, that son, Sean O’Brian, would die within the year. The queen had the child delivered and diapered by a blindfolded doctor and nurse team, and thenceforth, his privates were never uncovered. Sean lived a long life (never married) without ever laying eyes on, as they put it these days, his own “junk.” Some question whether he actually had any.

1. Bobby O’Reilley, the first recipient of donor testicles in their original scrotum. The young man Flynn O’Cruller was tragically killed in a car accident and when he was parted out, O’Reilley got his ‘nads. O’Reilley’s wife states that, when she’s making love to her husband and feels those things slapping against her down there, no, it doesn’t give her a funny feeling. As for having a red-haired baby, it’s all the same to her, since Bobby is a carrot-top and so was Flynn.

7 Responses

  1. I tried to come up with a comment that didn’t sound kind of nutty, but failed. I admit to feeling tempted to take a quick look to see if everything was OK down there, but I am resisting. I will wait until I go to the gym this afternoon and take a shower to check to see if I have the correct number, color, shape and position. I will close by saying that one person’s “junk,” is a another person’s treasure.

  2. I once saw a scrotum burst in a high school wresting match. I didn’t “see” it per se, like in my face, but I did see the aftermath…not pleasant.

  3. As a general rule, I don’t date scrotum…too crowded. I have however dated a few dicks and a lot of assholes.

  4. All these Irish examples are having testicular problems from too many potatoes. It really is all about diet.

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