Cat Gets Stuck Atop Towering Cactus

So read the CNN headline on 11/11/11.

My girlfriend’s thoughts:

My ex Mike works for the fire department in town and I happen to know that the town council is considering a conversion of that department to an all-volunteer force. It would be just like Mike, the skunk, to take a cat and put it up a cactus to bring attention to his heroic damn department.

That cat was nobody’s pet. Too scrawny and moth-eaten. I was down at the pound the other day and most of those strays are a mess. It would be just like Mike, the rat, to go down there and pick out a cat to use in his scheme. He could lean a ladder against the cactus and just climb up there with the animal. As a fireman, he’s up and down ladders all day. If he did that, he should be exposed and fired. An anonymous tip would work.

And speaking of going up and down all day, if he was really such a hotshot fireman, he could have seen that cat and rescued it himself. All he had to do was climb off that underage waitress tramp of his and pick up his binoculars and look out my ex-bedroom window. It’s a straight line sight from my ex-bed to somebody on a ladder next to that cactus.

Mike you rat, I hope you are arrested and prosecuted to the full extent of the law, not just for the cat but probably for statutory rape too, because if you aren’t, the next thing they are going to find up there is a puppy.

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2 Responses

  1. When I was a high school teacher, a fellow teacher’s boy friend was a fire chief. Fireman had a Dalmatian dog (in regulations somewhere that fire fighters must own Dalmatians). Nancy, my fellow teacher, owned an ornery Siamese cat. Dog (having to be around kids at fire safety presentations) was well trained to be gentle and obedient to within an inch of its life. Cat figured out the dog was a wimp. Whenever dog was eating, cat walked up, hissed a couple of times, ate the dog’s food. Then she walked over to her bowl, slowly eating her food, staring contemptuously at the dog, as if to say, “Dare you to try anything.”

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