These is a lot of park jealously out there aimed at Zuccotti. What’s so special about Zuccotti? It’s close to Wall Street? So what? Lots of parks are close to Wall Street, and lots of other parks have benefits to offer protestors.
Top five parks to replace Zuccotti:
1. Cohen Park, New York – 100 blocks uptown from Zuccotti, but fun horse-drawn shuttles to Wall Street have been arranged with Aaron and Ike and their wagons. A Port-A-Potty is onsite. One of those clowns who twists balloons into shapes will perform at the noon hour, except on Saturdays.
2. Motor City Park, Detroit -You can buy the park and every crumbling building on the block for $99.99. No bank involved; they all went out of business in this neighborhood years ago. A few winos and addicts to deal with, but no police presence whatsoever.
3. Kodiak Park, Wasilla – Empty and quiet. You can see Russia if you stand on the picnic table (which is bolted down, so your protesters can’t walk off with it, or burn it for firewood). Far from Wall Street, true, but only two blocks from Sarah Palin’s house!
4. Wo Shih Park, Qingdao – Very easy administration this park. All protesters shot first day.
5. Tahrir Square, Cairo – You can’t do better than this. Street vendors sell grilled corn, roasted potatoes, sesame candies, various breads, and koshary (rice, macaroni, spaghetti, lentils, and chickpeas, covered with a spicy tomato sauce and fried onions, and optional vinegar). Downplay your Christianity, please; the Coptics are rioting and you don’t want to get drawn in. Auxiliary space is available in the prison, subject to an OK from the Army.