Blackberry Outage

Research In Motion (RIM) experienced a major Blackberry outage yesterday. I don’t use a Blackberry, but the event put me in mind of several outages I’ve encountered recently in my own life.

– I was on a hot date and the time had come to drink champagne from this hot babe’s navel. She pulled up her blouse and I discovered that she had an outie. Trying to drink champagne from an outie is a joke.

– I hang out with a bunch of guys in what we informally call The Hooters Club. We go to the bar in town and drink some beer and comment on girls’ hooters and just have a good old time. The latest issue of Out! magazine listed every guy in the club except me as a closet gay. These guys have been pretending to like hooters because our town doesn’t have any other place to drink beer! Was I interfered with? I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.

– I suffered an electrical power outage at home that lasted a week. The power company refused to recognize my problem as an outage because, they said, I hadn’t paid my bill and they had simply turned off the electricity. They relented on payday when I sent them the money I had budgeted for food. I spent the next two weeks dumpster-diving, which I consider a food outage of sorts.

– I had a “God outage” last Sunday when the pastor of our church removed me from my post as Sunday School teacher for the fifth-grade boys and told me I could return only when I had a doctor’s certificate proving that I had had a chemical castration procedure – another outage!