The Upcoming Election

Guest poster: Mabel Brown

Every four years, I hold an election to determine who will be my husband for the next term. My current husband is ok. He’s black and I’m white, which is good for bed but bad for joining the local country club. Also, he’s no help in finding me a job.

I’ll choose one individual to run against him. There will be one voter in the election. Me.

The candidates interested in making the run are debating tonight at the VFW, with me watching and asking the questions. Participating will be:

Rick – Looks good in a suit. Not too bright.

Mitt – Looks good in a suit. Bright. Wears funny underwear.

Michelle – Looks good in a suit. The trouble begins when she opens her yap.

Newt – Told him I had a breast lump and he was out the door in the wink of an eye.

Ron – A coot. Tells me that marriage is “illegal government interference.”

Herman – All the pizza I can eat!