2016 Presidential Campaign Begins

I was in Omaha yesterday for Lester Foyle’s news conference. He announced the start of his run for the presidency in 2016. He isn’t the first to have done so, but he’s the most important, based upon his financial backing. The principal thrust of his campaign will be his emphasis upon his independent, outside-the-beltway experience and philosophy, free of any comprimise to special interests, as compared to whoever serves as president from 2012 to 2016.

Iowa, New Hampshire, and Florida will move their straw polls, caucuses,  and primaries for that election from 2016 to 2015 or perhaps 2014, so that the candidates have more time to introduce themselves to voters and debate each other before the vote.

Lester figures that he has roughly 1,800 days of non-stop campaigning ahead of him to reach his goal of becoming the most powerful person in the Free World or, what the hell, in the Unfree and Sort of Free Worlds as well. Roughly 130 million Americans voted in 2008, so Lester needs to reach 72,000 or so folks on a daily basis. If he sleeps 6 hours a night, that’s about 4,000 voters an hour, or about 67 a minute. Lester believes that if he gives every voter in the U.S. about 50 seconds of his time, during which he shares his “elevator pitch” with them, that should just about do it.

Meanwhile, all the boys and girls in Mrs Fred’s 5th grade class at Garden View Elementary have announced the start of their individual campaigns to win the presidency. They’ve initiated fundraising activities. A couple of them will be able to run in 2036. The rest must wait until 2040, when they’ll run as outsiders, unbeholden to the myriad special interests that are weighing down whichever of their former classmates wins in 2036.

Tomorrow I’m attending the press conferences of Aaron Freed and John Brown, two soreheads who are kicking off their separate campaigns for the presidency of 2008. Neither likes the way things have worked out after the Obama/Cain contest and plan to do the whole thing over again.

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