Wrong on so many levels

A lot of stuff lately is said to be wrong on so many levels.

How many levels, exactly? What’s the average number of levels?

Suppose you’re having sex with your grandma.That’s wrong on so many levels, right? One, she’s your grandma. But what’s level two? Suppose you’re not bespoke? No infidelity is involved. The disparity in ages? Let’s be accepting of Spring/Winter coupling. Same sex, in case you’re a woman? That’s officially no longer wrong; just ask the Marines. I’m still looking for level two here.

Suppose you’ve having sex with your grandma’s dog. Now we’ve got a second level, assuming that your grandma would be upset if she knew. And if she wouldn’t be upset, that’s still a level of wrong, on her.

If you had an STD and knew it but didn’t tell your grandma, that would add a level of wrongness vis a vis your grandma, but not vis a vis her dog. Either way, we’re stuck at two levels, grandma/disease and grandma/dog.

Perhaps you could wear your grandma’s wig during the act. That in itself might be wrong on so many levels: mussing the wig hat, making a mockery of style, so forth.

Note: if you’re just diddlling your grandma to see how many levels you can be wrong on, that would be wrong on so many levels right there on the face of it. The levels are just stacking up here. Does your grandma put up preserves every year from the fruit in her orchard? Open a jar and smear it around during the act of love, but also on toast. That’s wrong on various hygienic and alimentary levels. Does your grandma knit? If you’re a guy, have her knit a suit for your member. I feel like we’re really exploring the realm of levels here. Get your grandpa involved. Hire a clown. Have the Garden Elementary School fourth-grade class come over for a lecture. Enter a float in the 4th of July parade.

In conclusion, all things considered, the average number of levels that stuff can be wrong on is 6.

2 Responses

  1. What if grandma had severe dementia? Would her wishes with regard to the dog still matter? I think they shouldn’t – I think in order for a will to matter, the willer would need some means to be able to learn if their will was carried out or not. (This is in regard to sentimental things, not financial. [If the dog was a prized animal, and its virginity was to be sold to the highest bidder, the proceeds going to people of grandma’s choosing, that is different])

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