Screenplays: Eat, Pray, Love

From Bali I hear that there is a big demand for scripts based on the following titles. Write one or more scripts and submit them. You might strike paydirt. I’ve included some starter hints.

Female protagonist:

1. Eat, Love, Pray – Woman has dinner out in unsavory part of town, picks up a guy, later prays that she hasn’t caught something.

2. Pray, Eat, Love – Woman spends all day at church but finally must go home, cook dinner for her husband, and then submit to his demands on a full stomach.

3. Pray, Love, Eat – Woman goes to church, is abused by her priest, then takes Communion from him. She thinks, at least he isn’t into young boys. Catholics!

4. Love, Pray, Eat – Woman is unfaithful to her husband, prays for his forgiveness, eats crow.

5. Love, Eat, Pray – Woman wakes up with strange guy, makes him breakfast, goes to church alone feeling mighty guilty, not to mention probably pregnant.

Male protagonist:

Drink, Curse, F**k – Man goes to Ireland, Vegas, and TJ to discover his inner self.

Some other, knockoff scripts desired:

1. Go, For, It – Woman divorces husband after watching too much TV, hits the dating bars, ends up with a clone of her ex. Movie to be shot in three days.

2. F**k, This, Shit – Woman divorces husband, becomes international kung-fu spy. Softcore. To be shot in two days.

3. God, Bless, America – Woman from a red state, probably a little nuts, definitely a huckster, runs for President and makes a bundle doing so.

2 Responses

  1. I think I would definitely like options 1-5 much more than that pretentious piece of crap I recently saw, Eat, Pray, Love. If only they had known that the problem was they’d put the words in the wrong order!

    Best/worst/stupidest parts of Eat, Pray, Love include, but are not limited to:

    Julia Roberts saying that she is fat. I’ve got some cellulite on my ass that would argue that point with her.

    The scene where Julia Roberts and friend decide to embrace their “fatness” so they go to a store to buy bigger pants and then–even though the point is to buy BIGGER PANTS–have extended girly scene of insisting on squeezing into TOO SMALL PANTS.

  2. Nobody would believe the last one! Too unrealistic.

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