Simple but Effective Diets

Why complicate your life? You can lose weight easily while you go about your normal business, using one of these simple plans.

The Dog Diet

Eat whatever you want, but only on all fours and out of a dog bowl. No fingers!

The Bird Diet

Eat all you want, but peck at your food such that your wife finally warns you that if you do that one more time, she is going to stab you to death with her fork.

The Monkey Diet

Eat all you want, but act like a monkey in your home. That is, don’t wear any clothes and poop wherever you are when you feel the need. In time, your appetite will decrease dramatically.

The Boa Diet

Eat all you want, until your middle is so swollen that it looks like you’ve ingested a pig. Then curl up and don’t eat for a week.

The “Uncle Louie” Diet

Hard-boiled eggs and Jack Daniels only.

2 Responses

  1. I subscribe to the benefits of the Monkey diet, although I would add that flinging poo can add to its effectiveness by increasing your cardio!

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