Top 5 Hollywood Rumors This Week (2)

– One of the top voodoo practitioners in Hollywood, at the behest of Selena Gomez, has FedEx’d to Justin Bieber an Elvis finger, as a birthday good-luck juju. This does not prove that Elvis is dead, but it does prove that he no longer has ten fingers.

– Justin Bieber rolled three Yahtzees in a row in a game against his tutor.

– The other top voodoo practitioner in Hollywood, at the behest of Shia Labeouf, has UPS’d to Justin Bieber a finger from Macaulay Culkin, as a bad juju. Since Culkin appears to have ten fingers remaining, it proves that he previously had eleven.

– Justin Bieber’s tutor rolled three Yahtzees against Bieber and shouted “Suck on this, bitch!”

– Paparazzi have photographed Justin Bieber on the beach at Malibu picking his nose. It cannot be determined from the pics whether he is using the Elvis finger, or Culkin’s.

5 Responses

  1. Fingers. Lame. In the old days it used to be a horse head.

  2. It sounds like you know and love horses. I think that’s great!

  3. 6. Will bathe you in unconditional acceptance. (free)

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