As soon as you mention God’s Wife, the specter of sexual organs is raised. We all know that, for example, the penis comes in many shapes and sizes. An exception about knowing shapes and sizes would be the faithful wife, who has only seen one. If the faithful wife is female, that is. If the faithful wife is male, then it is unlikely that the penises of husband and wife will be identical, perhaps to the surprise and disappointment of the faithful but well-hung wife. In this case, if her penis is much larger than your own, it doesn’t mean that you have to take any shit from her pardon my French.
We did a poll in Montana on this. 78% of respondents stated that they’d rather discuss the private parts of their cattle. 10% stated that they’d rather discuss the private parts of their sheep which they can’t quit, and 12% said they would only discuss such matters in their own bedroom or in a motel room if we would be interested in that.
So the thing is, suppose your penis does not look like God’s penis? Or your wife’s private bits do not look like those of God’s Wife – you know, are more, well, prominent, or perhaps more sequestered? Maybe the carpet doesn’t match the drapes, but I guess that’s another subject. If you’re very different from the Divine, does God still love you? No. If you’re unusual in some way, is there a chance that God’s Wife might take a special interest in you? Maybe. I know a guy like that.
But let’s get our minds out of the gutter. God’s Wife. Does She do the dishes? No. That’s what the angels are there for. Does She want to go out every night, or is She content to let God lie on the couch and for once watch a goddamned football game in peace? Hmm. I’ll set up a poll on that one.