Will California Ban Circumcision?

At this point, if California bans circumcision, the following “Hollywood exceptions” will be included in the law:

– SAG members who play “good guys” are to be given an exemption. Focus groups indicate that audiences prefer their full-frontal heros to be “clipped.” “Bad guys” are not exempt from the ban.

– Whether because of the Jewish influence in the film industry or the contention of Makeup that the circumcized penis is easier to make presentable, penii in “blockbusters” are to be exempt.

– Penile and scrotal piercings remain taboo. Clooney, Buscemi, et al, must remove their silver-plated groin bling before the cameras start rolling.

– Other exceptions: CGI “cocks”; prosthetic members of whatever color, especially black; shortpuds (less then 2″); stubs of the very young and very old (less than 6 months, more than 90 years)

– Sexting of circumcized joints is banned, judicial and legislative specimens excepted.

– Viagra addicts are not excepted

– Female-to-male transgender actors can “pick their own poison.”

– Stunt doubles must “take one for the team.”

– If one of the top ten female stars in Hollywood (according to the grosses) is required, legitimately, to handle a male member in a scene and she is absolutely adverse to the male foreskin, and the scene will suffer if she wears rubber gloves, then a circucism can be allowed, whether the male lead wants it or not.

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5 Responses

  1. Was that Klaus’s question?

    I’m guessing the legislature would probably grandfather in anybody who’s already suffered the indignity of the non-religious based circumcision. As for sexting, my impression is that the transmission via text message of any and all male body parts usually ends in tears.

    • Sexting that ends in tears? I dunno… I’ve had a lot of fun with it so far.

      • Look where that ended up for Anthony Weiner. I’m pretty sure those were tears. As for you, did you get anywhere? Haha. (as opposed to un-haha, which is what happened in Weiner’s case.)

  2. I wish I was that imaginative! Reminds me of my recent hospital visit. Current health professionals seem obsessed with discovering hidden piercings, and any personal augmentation. Apparently something to do with magnets and electricity.

  3. ………. There is a movement of Jews who are questioning circumcision, and working to end this abuse of children. The movement ranges from the Orthodox to the secular, and includes mothers, fathers, scholars, historians, medical professionals, activists, and intellectuals.

    Jewish Groups for Genital Integrity

    * Brit Shalom Celebrants by Mark D. Reiss, M.D. http://www.circumstitions.com/Jewish-shalom.html

    * Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective by Ron Goldman, Ph.D. http://www.jewishcircumcision.org

    * The Current Judaic Movement to End Circumcision: Part 1
    http://intactnews.org/node/105/1311886372/jewish-voices-current-judaic-movement-end-circumcision-part-1

    Circumcision: A Jewish Feminist Perspective by Miriam Pollack
    http://www.noharmm.org/pollack.htm

    Jewish Intactivist Miriam Pollack has some great commentary on Foreskin Man in this recent interview.
    http://www.beyondthebris.com/2011/07/defying-convention-interview-with_27.html

    Jews Speak Out in Favor of Banning Circumcision on Minors
    http://intactnews.org/node/103/1311885181/jews-speak-out-favor-banning-circumcision-minors ……………

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