Movies that make sex look good. Movies that don’t.

Good sex

1. Shortbus (2006) – I have yet to see Shortbus, but someone tells me that the sex, in many variations, is portrayed as fun.

2. Good Morning… and Goodbye! (1967) – For Russ Meyer, and thus for this viewer, sex and big hooters are good, by definition.

3. The Mother (2003) – Older woman scores with Daniel Craig. Good news for those past middle age. This stands in for a movie the title of which I can’t remember. Swedish? “Innocents” in the title? An elderly man and woman connect. They were in love in their youth but each married another. Now, a bit embarrassed, they keep it under the sheets.

4. The Devil’s Rejects (2005) – Good or bad sex? Tough call. The Rejects have a good time, except maybe Sheri Moon Zombie, who’s got a lot of attitude, but nobody else survives.

5. The Reader (2008) – Teen scores with Kate Winslet, in heavily romantic mode. That’s got to go in the “Good” column.

Bad sex

1. Angel Heart (1987) – When you’re doing it and you look up and the ceiling is bleeding, that can’t be good. Can it?

2. Yours, Mine and Ours (1968) / Cheaper by the Dozen (1950, 2003) – Too much of a good thing.

3. Secretary (2002) – Wait. Is kinky good or bad, in the workplace?

4. Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) – At once a day, that’s a lot of sex.

5. Precious (2009) – The worst, but flowers can grow on the pile of dung.

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One Response

  1. Right you are: Bleeding ceiling is bad. Only topped by ceiling with scary phrases scrawled on it in blood. As for #3, that movie is called Innocence and it is Australian, although it should be Swedish. Viva la Google.

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