“I can’t believe you forgot…”

You know how a podcast will do a “Top 5,” and then the phone call comes in with the guy saying, “Hey, dudes, I can’t believe you forgot “Marley and Me,” or whatever? And you’d like to call in too but you can’t think of a good movie that they forgot in their list? Well, here’s a list that you can use, of movies nobody has seen, so they can’t argue with you, along with the reasons why the movies are important.

1. Range Feud (1931) (Western) – John Smith, NYT: “Keep this kid John Wayne up on his horse with his mouth shut, and someday he’ll be a big star.”

2. Fast and Loose (1930) (Comedy) – Mike Smith, NYT: “This gal Carole Lombard has a real big future, if she’ll only stop flying in those newfangled aeroplanes.”

3. Sing You Sinners (1938) (Musical) – Francois Smith, NYT: “This kid Donald O’Connor obviously has a musical bug up his butt. He had me dancing on the walls.”

4. Swamp Water  (1941) (Noir) –  Muhammad Smith, NYT: “This young man Dana Andrews acts like he’s been drinking the swamp water. Destined for greatness if he can keep it down.”

5. The Singing Princess (1949) (Family) – Ang Poo Smith, NYT: “Forget Stefano Sibaldi, Germana Calderini, Giulio Panicali, Olinto Cristina, Mario Besesti, Giovanna Scotto, Renata Marini, Lauro Gazzolo, Maria Saccenti, Beatrice Preziosa, Carlo Romano, Sakella Rio, Luisa Malagrida, F. Delle Fornaci, and Giulio Fioravanti, all billed in front of her. It’s this kid Julie Andrew’s voice that tells me she is headed for stardom and that puts the look on my face that my wife must never see.”

6. Bloody Mama (1970) (Drama) – John Galt Smith, NYT: “This kid playing Lloyd Barker? Put him in a taxicab or a pair of boxing gloves and I’d pay to see what he’d do next, the little focker.”

One Response

  1. Every single member of the cast of the singing princess has a last name that ends in a vowel. This is a great list.

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