5. Children of the Corn (1984) – Teaches children to hate scarecrows and cornfields. That can’t be right. Also teaches children to hate children.
4. The Secret of the Grain (2007) – Teaches children that if they follow their dreams with respect to cous cous and mullet, [spoiler] they’ll flop and then die.
3. Super Size Me (2004) – Teaches children that they can live on McDonalds burgers for a month. Ok, plus some of the french fry vegetable.
2. La grande bouffe (1973) – Teaches children that it’s ok to try and eat themselves to death while hanging out with hookers. Nowhere does the movie advise children not to try this at home, or that meat will kill them faster than vegetables, particularly those vegetables in the root family.
1. Down Argentine Way (1940) – Carmen Miranda with fruits on her head. Teaches children that fruits are not to be taken seriously. This movie would be in the “Best Vegetable Movie” list if instead she had meat on her head.
On the “Best Vegetable Movie” side:
Mr. Majestyk (1974) – Teaches children that melons are macho.