Top Teen Sex Movies

First, to which movies does the title refer?

Sex movies that teens would like and/or should watch? No. They should watch movies like the U.S. Army’s training film AS104b, “Venereal Disease and the Loss of Your Penis,” or the Freemason Rainbow Girls film, “Boys Will Defile You If You Let Them Touch You Down There.”

Hardcore movies about teen sex utilizing actual teens? Such movies are immoral and illegal. As such, they would be found in the category “Top Real Teen Sex Movies,” so aren’t covered here.

Hardcore movies about teen sex not utilizing actual teens? There are probably too many of these to try and choose a few of the “best,” so we won’t. You’ll find them in the more specific categories “Plaid school-uniform skirts,” “Daddy spanks his naughty daughter,” and “Ponytails.”

Softcore movies about teen sex? Check in to any nondescript mid-city hotel and pay for channel 553.

Dramatic, R-rated Hollywood movies about teen sex? These are found in the category “Will she have the baby or not,” so are not listed here.

Comedies about teens having sex? All such films in which the sex never actually happens are excluded. How can you call them sex comedies? Sure, a bunch of horny guys want to have sex with their female classmates, but, as a substitute teacher, I see that every day I get called in. I don’t find it comic. All those teenage girls. The dress codes were a lot stricter in my day. And then to come home and put on a movie and it’s more of the same? I can’t recommend it.

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