Picnic with Megan Fox

I was walking through a park in Paris this morning and saw Megan Fox sleeping on a blanket on the grass. She was on her stomach with her head on her hands, facing away from me. I circled her quietly once and then sat down between her and the sidewalk. I took out a yellow legal pad and wrote QUIET PLEASE. MEGAN FOX IS SLEEPING on it.

Although I wrote the warning in English, I figured that the French park-goers who passed would probably be able to read it. That’s one reason I capitalized it.

Before long, two girls stopped and one of them said, “Eez zat Megan Fox?” I told her it was. “Who are you?” she asked. I told her that I was Megan’s agent, just so she’d pay attention to the warning on my pad.

A small crowd formed. Then some young wiseacre said, “Zat eez not the Megan Fox!” I told him to hush. Instead, he put two fingers in his mouth and emitted a shrill whistle. Then he shouted “MEGAN!”

Megan came up on her elbows and looked at us. She was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with LVMH on it. She said something in French, which I thought was sort of cool. The young wiseacre answered her. She looked at me, said something that I didn’t catch, got up, and grabbed her blanket. I asked her for her autograph. She walked off over the grass. The crowd dispelled, if dispel can be intransitive; otherwise, Fox’s departure dispelled the crowd.

Megan is the fourth hot young star I’ve seen in the park this week.

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