Dogsploitation Movies

I want dog movies about dogs, not about the people who own dogs. For example, if a dog goes crazy and wipes out his family at the start of the movie, that’s ok, because it’s about him, having a bad day. Or maybe if the dog and his boy share a telepathic connection, like in A Boy and His Dog (1975), where they “scavenge for food and sex” in a post-apocalyptic world, that’s ok. Otherwise, it’s dogsploitation.

But hellhounds are ok, hounds of hell, even if they aren’t the leads in the movie, just because they’re cool. In fact, I give all hounds a pass, including that one out at Baskervilles Manor.

Worst dogsploitation:

5.  Wendy and Lucy (2008) – “Lucy and Wendy” would be a different movie. This one could have been called “Wendy and Her Bicycle,” if Lucy had been played by a Schwinn.

4. The dog in the Jesse Stone movies? He’s there to do one thing: sit in a living-room chair and stare at Tom Selleck with sad eyes whenever Selleck takes a drink. I think that in the last entry in the series, they finally refer to him in the past tense. He was bored to death.

3.There Is Something about Mary (1998) – I’ve heard that the dog’s stunt double in this movie came from the pound, and that the various stunts, including the one in the electrocution scene, were little better than the animal violence in Cannibal Holocaust (1980). My heart went out to the little canine in those sad scenes.

2. Marly & Me (2008) – “But that’s enough of us talking about ourselves. What do you think of us?”

1. Umberto D (1952) – Umberto has a dog but no money. The dog is not enough. No, wait. It is.

Dishonorable mention: The pooch in Snatch (2000), who’s just there for laughs and to swallow the jewel. Shameful.