Dog movies

I don’t have a dog. I hold no brief against dogs, mind you, but if I’ve got to watch a dog movie, I prefer that it be one about a guy who has turned into a dog, so that it’s actually more a  guy movie than a dog movie. Beyond The Shaggy Dog (1959) and its remake, I don’t know what my choices are with this, but it’s what I want.

If  it must be a movie about an actual dog, I’ll settle for the following:

– A big, rabid dog like Cujo (1983).

– A dog that’s the spawn of Hell, like Beefy in Little Nicky (2000).

– Goofy or Pluto

– A zombie dog. Blood Creek (2009) has zombie horses. There must be a movie out there with a crowd of human zombies and their dogs – humans and dogs alike having gone to the dogs. A sexy female weredog would also be acceptable.

– A talking dog, as in Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008).

Best would be a movie in which a cat, not a guy, turns into a dog. The owner whistles. The dog does not react. The owner shouts “Here, Spot! Come!” The dog does not react. The dog holds its tail straight up, weirding out the owner. The dog pads over to the sofa and stretches up to claw the cushions with those big black doggy claws. It keeps its tongue in its mouth.

No, wait. I’d rather go with a movie in which a monkey, not a cat, turns into a dog. The dog shows its teeth in a grin. It chatters. It eats a banana. It abuses itself.

Or if it’s got to be a movie about a real dog, maybe it’s a dog who turns into an octopus. A giant octopus, say, that pulls itself up onto the Golden Gate Bridge, and then along the bridge’s fast lane into the city, where it lifts all eight tentacles at once and pisses on a hydrant.

2 Responses

  1. The infected pooch that morphs into John Carpenter’s “The Thing” gets my vote for top movie dog.

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