5. Kenny (2006) – If a woman reports to you that she’s dropped her wedding ring in the porta potty, you’ve got to act fast. The ring will lie on the surface briefly, but then begin to settle, at which time you will be unable to retrieve it. Hustle over there. Don’t wear gloves. You cannot wear gloves, because when wearing gloves, you can’t feel the ring with sufficient acuity. Use the bare hand.
4. The Dark Knight (2008) – Your job is supposed to be fun. Satifying. You’re supposed to enjoy it. This guy? With the gruff voice? He’s happy? I don’t think so.
3. Psycho (1960) – It’s hard enough to run a motel, but if you’ve got a bossy mother butting in all the time, it’s impossible.
2. Alien (the whole franchise) – Once, sure. It could happen to anyone. But to go back, again and again and again. What is wrong with this woman?
1. Tie: The Ten Commandments (1956) and The Passion of the Christ (2004) – Moses, this guy. 40 years in the wilderness, was it? His beard gets those streaks of white in it. So does he get to the promised land finally? What do you think? And he missed all the parties with the golden calf, so forth. And with whom did he get to lie, or lay? I can’t remember. As for Jesus, no explanation necessary.