Subgenre: Dingo Ate My Baby

A David Thomson review refers to the “Dingo ate my baby” subgenre of films. Sitting here in Bali, I’ve generated some script ideas for upbeat family-oriented versions of the subgenre: 1. Dingo takes my baby, changes mind, gives baby to lactating gorilla. 2. Dingo takes my baby, trades her to old sow for suckling pig. [...]

Women over 45 in the movies

From the reader: “Could you explain why there are almost no women over 45 in movies or in magazines that cover the film industry? Has there been an epidemic of some kind that’s wiped out only women over 45 and only in the Greater Los Angeles area? Is this happening to men over 45? And [...]

Have there always been “summer movies”?

Summer Glau was born in 1981, so in that respect, no. If time is a construct introduced by humans because they don’t have the ability to see the totality of action in an absolute universal sense, then yes. Everything has always been and will always be, including summer movies. In the more limited sense of [...]

Unwelcome Films

From time to time I’m faced with a film that I’m obliged to watch, but don’t want to. How about you? If the setting is social, I must sit down and take my medicine like a true cinephile. All film contains good. However, if I’m alone, and the film is one that I’ve agreed to review, [...]

Why don’t ex-presidents appear in the movies?

If someone asked me to be in a movie, I’d say yes. Just for fun. Just to act, although I know zilch about acting. Just to be there on set and recite my lines and do multiple takes and then to sit down that evening for rushes and to see myself up there on the [...]

Product Placement coke

So what if the new James Bond movie gets $45 million bird’s eye for a little product placement? The world dr. scholls is full of products. You’re looking at them playtex all the time. Does that bug you? metamucil  If it helps the Bond movie mabelline get made, it’s worth it. four aces bail bonds. [...]

Inappropriate Viewing!

I was about to watch some silly movie last night when it struck me that millions are now suffering from the Japan catastrophes and war in the Middle East. This gave me pause. No man is an island, even though at the time I was sitting alone on the couch with nothing but a bottle [...]

Elizabeth Taylor

As the Baby Boomer icons die off, I prefer to ignore their passing and the slow recession of the 50s and 60s in memory’s rear-view mirror, as I ignore the living icons themselves in their variously decrepit states. Why would I have anything to say about Liz now? I tuned her out back when Burton [...]

Why I don’t review, or even comment on, Woody Allen movies

I was reading a review of a Woody Allen comedy from the early 2000s the other night. There were some comments in it about his proclivity for starring opposite young and beautiful women. Like a lot of aging actors, he had a terrible run with this; let’s hope it’s over with. Also in the review [...]

Why teen sex at the movies is so over

All these recent posts about teen sex at the movies – they’re written mostly by fogies in small towns and by pastors in their studies. For example (I’m quoting copyrighted text here): Q: Should me and my girlfriend do it at the Rialto? A: While sex during a screening at the Rialto may be pleasurable, [...]