Cat from Hawaii found in Ohio

[Headline, CNN] I was sitting on my porch when I saw a cat coming down the street. He was obviously lost. I whistled him over and as I scratched his head, I checked his collar. He was from Hawaii. I went inside and found some chocolate-covered macadamia nuts and a little leftover poi and brought it [...]

WATCH: Bullfrog DOMINATES Video Game

[Headline, Huffington Post] You know that giant man spotted at Kim Jong-Il’s funeral? And now a giant bullfrog with super intelligence which croaks in the Korean bullfrog dialect? Coincidence? I think not. The North Koreans, at first glance, have accomplished nothing in the past few decades. Satellite photos taken at night show a black patch [...]

Family Who Believed Puppy Had Died After Accident Gets Big Surprise

(Headline, Huffington Post) Our biggest surprise was how good Ronald Reagan looked, pretending to be a puppy again. We gave him a whole-body buzz cut and dyed him in mixed gray, black, white, and cafe au lait. Cute dog! As we reported to the press, Ronald fell into our big hamburger grinder. When a batch [...]

You Won’t Believe What This Dog Brought Home

(Huffington Post headline) We named our dog Ronald Reagan. Not for when the President had Alzheimer’s. Before that. The henna Reagan used in his later years? We dyed our Ronald the same color. It’s sort of an homage. Our Ronald is a total publicity hound ha ha. He’ll do anything to grab another fifteen minutes [...]

Bad News For Sellers Of Petrified Cats

(Headline, Huffington Post) Went down to my favorite gift shop today, to do my Xmas shopping. Got quite a shock when I saw the display of my favorite brand of petrified cats. My plan this year, like every year, was to give a cat to everyone on my list. My mom and dad have gift [...]

Sex For Pleasure Not Uniquely Human

(Huffington Post headline, 11/13/11) Festus is a five-year-old redbone coonhound. He’s a big, noisy dog who is always willing to jump up and lick your face and be petted. My wife and I love him and take him with us everywhere, always making sure that he gets enough exercise and attention. All was fine until [...]